By Anonymous

My three buddies and I grew up on boats. There was nothing we couldn’t handle, even with a couple of beers under our belts, so no one thought it was a big deal to drink during a run around the bay (in my 19-foot boat) before meeting our wives for dinner. We’d brought along chips, cookies, and a cooler with a case of beer.

The sun was warm, the beer was cold, and I truly don’t remember whether I’d had two or three when I hit the sandbar very hard. I yelled in pain — my arm and elbow were on fire! However, that wasn’t the worst of it. One buddy was bleeding and two were nowhere to be found when we screamed their names.

I grabbed the VHF and begged for help, though I think I slurred a bit from shock or drink (or both). The operator had a hard time understanding me, but other boaters in the vicinity filled him in on what they saw. Both of the overboard guys surfaced, but they were very shook up.

I thought to dump the beer, but where? We were in so little water. I thought we should put on life jackets, but I never got to it before the U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary boat showed up. Once the two men started assessing the situation, my goose was cooked. When the official Coast Guard vessel showed up, I knew I was going to jail — mostly because they told me so after boarding. They didn’t cuff me, probably because my arm was messed up, but I seem to remember them discussing it.

My friends tried to reassure the Coasties that I was in full command and was totally acting sober, but they came across as pretty sloshed as well. I screamed, “Shut up!” but they just kept talking.

After getting checked out, the guy with the bleeding head was OK and so were my other friends. None of them wanted to go to the hospital so the Auxiliary people took them back to the dock. I yelled at them to call my wife and have her call a lawyer, but then I realized we don’t know a lawyer and it was a Saturday.

I had a Breathalyzer and headed to the hospital with the cop that showed up at the dock. I remember hearing the nurse in the hospital whistle when she asked for my “BAC” (blood alcohol concentration). My arm was broken badly, and I was shaking so hard, but then the cop warned me, “This is only the start of your problems.”

My boat had plenty of damage that the insurance company says was due to my negligence (we’re still fighting). I’ve needed two surgeries so far to repair my arm and the rehab has been very painful. But like the cop said, my big problems were the lawyer’s bills, the unpaid time off from work, the fine I paid (the assistant DA was pushing for jail and I was petrified) and, worst of all, I am now a criminal.

I have to live with that label — criminal — all because I thought that boating and beer went hand-in-hand. I’m lucky no one died, and it’s great that I didn’t go to jail, but I am only in my 30s and I’m now a criminal for life. So take my advice and drink water if you’re the skipper — the alternative is a nightmare.